| I think I might start writing here again, just because nobody reads this, so its safe to use names and not have to be super anonymous like I have to in my livejournal. Not that I'm going to use names or anything anyways. But onto real news, I don't think I've been this happy in forever. Happy, and so jealous. But I know [or hope?] I have no reason to be jealous. He is the best thing thats happened to me since freshman year. Brian really is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He cares so much. For example, last night [or this morning, I guess] he had a dream that all this stuff happened to us, so he called to make sure I was okay. Sounds lame, but I don't care. If I could choose anyone in the world to be woken up by at 4:30 in the morning, it would be him. That last sentence made no sense, but frankly, I don't care. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I'm over Andy, and that I'm really ready to seriously be with someone else. I've been dwelling on the whole "He's the only boy I've ever loved" bullshit for too long, and while I was too busy loathing in self pity, I missed out on everything Brian had the first time around. He really is absolutely amazing in every way. I can be me around him, which is rare. I just, I can't even describe everything. Every second that I'm with him, nothing else in the world matters. Every second that I'm not with him, he's all I can think about. I'm just so happy that everything is finally happening, and that all of this is real. |
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| its been years... decades... centuries?
nobody reads this, so its safe to post here again. not that i will more than this one time, but whatever.
i think dan put it best when he said 'quasiboyfriend', because thats exactly what the b-man is. one day we're married, the next he's nothing but one word answers. god, i love it when they do this. and by they, i mean him. and by love, i mean hate.
i need to work on trusting people... like, now. |
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| BAbiBLuEYez6263: go shelly its your birthday gonna not lie to your boyfriend who 143's you like its your birthday
that is ALL i have to say. |
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| i hate xanga.
livejournal ahoy.
wastedxlove
yes, i stole my username from katie.
this is me not caring. |
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| haven't updated in a while, but i shall fill you in on my life with a list of things that have gone down since last week.
- uncle jesse and man ass sleepover.
- ice cream snowmen.
- emo pictures in the middle of my road
- ruined josh's birthday
- got a boyfriend.
- last day of school.
- global regents.
- aimlessly roamed with kara dor 2 days.
- bought old lady sunglasses.
- got checked out by a pimp in newburgh.
- bought a silly fat little mexican playing the trumpet from an antique shop in beacon.
- introduced the new boyfriend [see above] to my entire extended family. [what was i thinking?!]
- saw dodgeball. it was hilarious.
- fell in love with steve the pirate. because yes, he really is a pirate.
- discovered that king lou is a theif.
- cleaned my room.
- cleaned my room again.
- went to dinner with 16 of my dearest friends.
- smooches galore from that boy i do so adore. [not intentionally rhyming.... i swear.]
- girl night/day with my secret agent.
- sunburn.
- fought with a boy. that i dont like. at all.
- decided that anorexia is not for me. or anyone for that matter.
- i hate good books.
- hawthorne heights cd.... soo good.
- rocket summer cd... soo sooooo good.
- i want the every time i die cd.
- and a car.
- and to never get a real job.
- i need a birthday list.
- ^^ asap.
- romeo, oh romeo... where the hell are you?
- i can't spend my pseudo birthday with sarah... and that makes me sad.
- now what?
- whatevah. i'll come up with something.
- why am i still writing in random ideas rather than in a paragraph?
- whatever... still over it.
- why do i feel alone all the time even when i'm not?
- i feel like a cow. i ate too much.
- but theres nothing i can do about it.
- a tragic embrace: awww man asss that brings tears to the round things in the holes in my head.
- sarah makes me feel special. and i love it.
- my boy makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the world.
- i want someone to say they love me and mean it. romantic or not, i just want to hear those words again.
- i need to stop. everything. now.
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